I had a physical yesterday . . . not that anything is wrong, but my doctor's office pushes it every year. My insurance covers it, and I think, "Why not?"
The little assistant fetched me from the receptionist area, weighed me and checked vitals, took me to an exam room and interrogated me . . . why was I there? As part of the questioning, she asked me if the physical would include a pap smear. I explained that I no longer need a pap since the medical establishment took EVERYTHING four years ago. The little assistant put a gown and sheet on the bed telling me the doctor would let me know if I needed to change . . . and she pulled out a pair of medical gloves and some K-Y jelly and placed them on the desk. I quickly reminded her that there would be NO need for K-Y jelly on this visit. She just smiled and said she just wanted to be sure the room was prepped for the doctor. She leaves.
Minutes later, my doctor opens the door and says, "Anal bleeding?" My eyes open big, I shake my head - no. "That's another patient in another room, Doc!!!"
He proceeds into the room. "Are you sure? No anal bleeding?"
"I'm absolutely sure!"
"And we aren't doing a pap smear?!"
I wasn't sure if that was a question or not, but I assured him, "There's no need for a pap. I don't have a cervix any more . . . or any of the other goods."
"Hmm, and there's no prostrate?!"
Again, I'm not sure if that's a question or not, but I cover my bases . . . "I'm pretty sure we have nothing to worry about there."
"If you're sure, then" . . . and the exam proceeded with me maintaining most of my modesty and keeping a safe distance from the gloves and K-Y jelly.
I also assured my doctor that SlimFast was proving to be a cure-all for me. My nails had been breaking and were now growing strong, I had been having some urinary tract issues, and they were all cleared up . . . all since starting to eat the SlimFast meal and snack bars every day. Well, it's been a cure-all for everything except for being overweight.
5 comments:
Dang! I don't know if I'll ever venture into a doctor's office again!
You're so funny, Carmen.
Do you go to Army doctors? I've forgotten what's there ... is it Brooks? Fort Sam Houston?
I'm impressed that you go for your check-ups. Good for you.
No, Cliff and I have been lucky enough to get a civilian doctor. And I have to see him once a year to get my prescriptions for the rosacea. If they want a little blood as well, no biggee!
My blood pressure was 120/80. My pulse was 64. My blood-sugar level is normal as is my thyroid. My cholesterol has crept up some but requires no special concern. I'm disgustingly healthy except for the weight issue. I think the doctor's a bit surprised, but it's got to be a welcome relief after dealing with Cliff. I don't think any of his health measurements are within the normal range.
well! was he cute?
The doctor? Not really, I'm sorry to say. I don't think I've ever had a doctor that I thought was hot.
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