So, I went to New Jersey to meet with my potential employers and their family. I spent three days in the twilight zone. You wouldn't believe these people! Prepping those poor pre-teen boys for IVY LEAGUE already?? Ok, so I'm just bitter because they didn't want me. Well, they DID want me... before they found out I'm a criminal. You see, dear family, I've been in jail four times. Did you know that? I'm sure you did. Secrets don't exist where we come from. Anyway, two of those arrests show up on my background check. No convictions! But the document lists the arrest details whether I like it or not and it'll cost me $1100 to get rid of it all. Anyway, instead of signing the release form for these folks, I just came clean and told 'em straight. I told 'em exactly what they'd see: I was arrested for "theft under $50" after I got caught shoplifting a belt from Folley's when I was 17... And I was driving with an invalid driver's license two years back. (I continued to explain that the invalid driver's license was merely a result of poverty, but that was a big waste of breath!)
Needless to say, they said "NO THANKS" and that was that.
However, I found a young, poor, artsy-fartsy family in Brooklyn that will be taking me in for a couple months with a weekly stipend of $150/wk. Yeah... yeah... I know. But I'll manage! While I'm there, I'll be looking for something more substantial. It's very possible I'll be back home in two months with empty pockets and a hungry belly, but I gotta get up there and see what all the fuss is about - just for a year or two, at most, then back to school.
I leave on June 28th!
Mom keeps reminding me I have to come back south for this family reunion next June. No reminder necessary, Mom! I can't wait!
Love you guys. Cross those fingers for me?
6 comments:
Megan Elizabeth! I most certainly did NOT know you'd been in jail. Oh, my dear precious little Meggie ... I don't want you to have ever been in jail. Please don't ever do anything to be put there again. Promise me.
But, Meggie, listen to me ... I don't want you to feel bad about yourself either. Almost everyone tries their hand at shoplifting when they're young and severely ignorant.
When I was eight or nine (and severely ignorant), visiting a city cousin who was one year older and miles wiser, we went to a dime store and I took a keychain with a rabbit foot attached and she took a keychain with a little red coin holder attached and we left the store and ran like crazy all the way back to her house in Searcy, Arkansas. Giggle Giggle Giggle. It was the most fun I'd ever had in my entire life. 'til dark came ... 'til dark came, Meggie. Then all my fun simply disappeared with the sunshine. It was hot summertime and air conditioning didn't exist back then, but when we went to bed that night I covered myself head to toe with a heavy quilt. The devil would come looking for me as soon as I fell asleep. I knew he would. No way around it. I just scrooched up real small under that hot quilt and prayed hard he wouldn't find me. It may well have been the longest and the worst night of my life. For YEARS afterwards, the flames of hell kept nibbling at my skinny ankles over that act of crime.
I wish, today, I could look back over my 72 years and believe that shoplifting a keychain was the worst thing I ever did. But of course it wasn't. Not by a longshot, it wasn't.
You're wrong, my precious granddaughter, about secrets not existing in our family. A few are well-kept and well-guarded forever. But ... only a very few.
All families have dark secrets. There are no exceptions. None. Remember that, my Meggie. Don't ever feel ashamed about our family because behind closed doors, all families have shames and heartaches and disappointments just as bad if not worse than ours.
I envy families who can keep their skeletons securely hidden in back closets. The sins I've committed, and tried to lock away forever, have always come busting out as though closet doors were just so much tissue paper. Not only did my skeletons refuse to stay hidden, they lined themselves up on display across my front yard and WAVED as saintly neighbors drove by. They danced, rattled their worthless bones and WAVED.
So much for my reputation.
Meggie, You are much too fine a person to go through life with a "record". I want you to work real hard and save up that 1100.00 as fast as you can and make that bad history go away. If you don't, it will haunt you forever. Pay the price. Start fresh. That's what I want real bad for you to do. Will you?
You are so intelligent and so beautiful. You can do anything you set your mind to do. You can be anything you want to be. You can have a wonderful future. You can and you will. I just know it.
First, get your mistakes corrected and erased from the records. What others think isn't all that important, Meggie, but I want you to always feel good about yourself. I don't want you to ever again be "rejected" by goody-goods when you're seeking a job you're over-qualified for in the first place.
Straighten out the past, Meggie Darling, then take a deep breath and move forward.
You are so wonderful and so good ...
and I love you so ....
Megan, it's good to keep life interesting. You've got to create enough memorable moments to keep you entertained in your old age while you're sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch.
I've already created enough to keep me entertained for the next 50 years. Now if I could just slow down long enough to sit in the rocking chair, I'd enjoy a trip or two down memory lane.
Instead life just keeps happening.
John and I are going to be in Manhattan on the 4th of July. We have tickets for the Yankees game against Boston! It's his graduation present. Hopefully, we'll be creating memorable moments that don't involve getting into any trouble, but it is NY so we won't make any promises.
Keep us posted on your trip and maybe we can connect while we're in the city.
Grandma, I should've explained... The other two visits to jail were simply based on my poverty, which resulted in driving a suspicious vehicle, which then resulted in my getting pulled over too much, which led to several unpaid traffic tickets, that then turned into warrants... That's all. I know I'm not a criminal and I don't feel bad or ashamed, but my irresponsibility has most certainly come back to haunt me. That much was inevitable. Rest assured, Grandma, my first spare grande will take care of that record and I'll never look back! Promise!
Looooove you. LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!
(I had to post this comment as "ANONYMOUS" because I've forgotten my log-in information!)
Oh! I meant to add two things:
THIS IS MEGAN.
and
Dear Aunt Karen,
You're hysterical! And do you have my number? My current cell should be in working order while I'm up there. If you guys have spare time in NY, call my mom and get my number. We'll go people-watching in Central Park or make friends with hotdog vendors. And I hear most of the museums are free all summer long! The possibilities are endless.
(Again, this "ANONYMOUS" mess is Megan.)
Thank you, dear Meggie, for the reassurance.
I have complete faith that your life - even with its occasional detours - will always be headed in the right direction. You are an amazing young woman. I admire you more than you know. I always have.
Meggie, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those out in the middle of life, living fully, and those sitting safely on the sidelines. Watching.
People - like you - who are smart enough and brave enough to be out in the middle of life, sometimes make a lot of mistakes. People who remain safely on the sidelines - watching the fascinating errors of people like you - make very few mistakes of their own.
I'm proud that you are brave and intelligent. I'm proud that you will learn from every single mistake you make and you'll grow wiser by leaps and bounds. I'm proud that you are open and honest. I'm proud there's nothing sneaky or hypocritical in your soul.
Someday, there will be a best-seller by Megan McLeod on my bookshelf. I can't wait!
Have I told you that I decided I strongly dislike the book I wrote in Panama? Oh Grandma... it's awful. I just can't let anyone read it. However, I'm working on something else! It's a sci-fi thriller, of all things. I don't know how this story-line wiggled its way into my head, but I'm loving it! Perhaps this will be the one you read.
Thanks for being so supportive, Grandma.
Can I just be "Anonymous" from now on? Do you guys mind if I take on a new name, because I don't think I'll ever remember how to log back in. It has somehow escaped my mind for good.
Love,
Anonymous
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